Snowden, pictured, made a point to note that whoever plays him in the film need not be bearded or wear glasses.
HONG KONG — In a Sunday interview with The Guardian it was revealed that Edward Snowden, the 29-year-old NSA whistleblower, believes that the only way his actions will be validated is if a feature film based on his experience is released.
The statement was made in response to the question, “What do you hope to achieve with your actions?”
Although The Guardian did not press for any information regarding the biopic, Snowden openly offered details about what he imagines will be the film’s major plot points, the possibilities for the soundtrack, and how his climactic speech on the steps of the Supreme Court will be filmed.
“I’m thinking it’ll be like a big crane shot of the crowd outside the Supreme Court. Then the camera will slowly move in on my face as I’m giving my speech. And the music will swell right as I say ‘if this is liberty, then I choose death.'”
“That’s right when the fighter jets will fly overhead with red, white, and blue exhaust trails,” added Snowden.
Snowden continued by saying that although he had not yet made any decisions about casting, he believes that either Ryan Gosling or Joseph Gordon-Levitt would be a “perfect fit.”
“I look more like Ryan Gosling because of my blonde hair, but I think JGL would bring something unique to the role,” explained Snowden. “I just hope they don’t go with Jesse Eisenberg, since he always ends up portraying people who are kinda nerdy.”
Snowden pictures the movie having a tone that falls somewhere between that of the critically-acclaimed “Zero Dark Thirty” and the Oscar-winning film “Argo.”
“I don’t want the movie to be too heavy, but I also want people to take it seriously. At the end of the day I just want people to think I’m a badass.”
NSA officials admit that they read Snowden’s own version of the script months ago during a routine browsing of his personal computer files. They found the script to be predictable and clichéd.
“Of course we’re going to track him down for the rest of his life and torture him once we get ahold of him! That’s what we do! You’d think he would have gone for something a little more creative with the plot, like having us realize the error of our ways and then restoring the civil liberties that our country was founded upon,” balked an NSA official.
“Nobody would see that coming.”
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